2/23/12 - Please stand closer to the plate


I've got another issue.  I might have griped about this before, I don't remember, but it's worth mentioning again.

The bathroom in my office, on my floor has three stalls and one urinal.  For this rant, I'm not real concerned with the stalls, I'm more concerned with the men that work in this office and their lack of ability to use a urinal.

As a grown man, I like to think that after 30+ years of using the restroom, I've somewhat mastered the art of aiming.  Like I mentioned, with the stalls, or a standard toilet at home for example, has a slightly smaller margin for error and the target is a little farther away.

The problem in my office is that every single time I go to the restroom, there is a puddle directly under the urinal that you must straddle in order to urinate without covering your shoes in the someone else's pee.

From what I can tell, there are no children under the age of 10 working anywhere in this office.  I'll go out on a limb and say that possibly, on average 1 male human under the age of 18 enters our building on a daily basis.  I can't figure out what is going on.  I know they clean the bathroom nightly, I've walked in on cleaning and had to go to a different floor to take care of business on many occasions.

I've often wanted to sit outside of the bathroom and check the floor after every person comes out, just so I can understand what kind of person pisses on the floor when standing at a urinal. For goodness sake, you aren't aiming for a precision shot, if needed you can just aim at the back wall and let gravity do the rest.

And with the whole "no matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last drop always hits your pants" phrase, I could understand a few wet spots in that area, a drop or two on the floor...but we are talking about a puddle here.

That's all I've got, this was going to be a lot funnier in my head, but this is still a valid concern of mine, or maybe I should be proud of my incredibly accurate aiming ability.

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