7/15/08 - Easy Cheese does expire

Those with a light stomach, heart condition, pregnant women, children, pets, or those who enjoy the taste of easy cheese should read this post with caution...although not puke inducing, you might change your views on certain food products.

So the other day, I was in the kitchen at my office, looking for salt and pepper in the cabinets. I reached for what I thought was a salt container only to realize that it was Easy Cheese. It was in the back on a fairly high shelf, so I figured it had been there for a while. The first thing I checked was the expiration date, I saw June 28 and thought, "No big deal, if it takes this stuff years to go bad...a few days isn't going to hurt".

I haven't had easy cheese in forever, and it sounded really good so I took squirted a long string on my hand and ate it. It was fairly tasty although there was a bit of a...I'm not sure the word to use...a bit of a "funk". I wrote this off as being part of the flavor as this was a can of Cheddar Bacon. I figured that processed bacon flavor in processed cheese was probably the culprit.

Today, I decided that since it had expired, there was going to be no one in the office who would claim it and if they did, they would just throw it away and chastise me for wanting to eat expired food if I asked for the container. I took matters into my own hand. When I fixed my morning oatmeal and coffee, and stuck it in my pocket and came back to my cube to wait for my lunch...I couldn't wait.

Literally, I couldn't wait...a few minutes later I decided I had to try some more. I pulled it down from my food cabinet and took a nice big bite. While consuming this bite, I noticed that the flavor just wasn't really "cheddar bacon" at all. Still not wanting to admit it was bad after a few days past the expiration date, I had a second and third bite. At this point, I started reading the packaging and once again made it to the expiration date on the bottom of the can. Although I had accurately read and remembered the date of July 28, I had either misread or failed to notice the year affixed to said date. As soon as the "06" registered in my head, I began to very sick...

That funk was not due to the bacon flavoring, or the processed cheese flavor...but rather the flavoring of ancient easy cheese. To keep my sanity (and my lunch down), I have tried to believe that the brownish color in the cheese was due to the bacon flavoring, but the more I think about it, the more I'm afraid that the brown was just the aging process coming through in the color...

That boys and girls is the reason that they put expiration dates on packaging. Read them and read them carefully. If you are unsure what the numbers mean, you are probably better off just throwing it away...or putting it back in the cabinet for some other foolish soul to sample the joys of moldy, rancid processed cheese product.


3 Comments - Leave one yourself

HAHAHA! I cracked up when I read this! You're such a dork :P

(If you get food poisoning, this is no longer funny and I will retract my statement.)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at July 18, 2008 at 1:44 AM  

LOL, I almost did the same thing today. The cheese in the can was brown so I googled it and found this post. Needless to say, it's in the trash.

By Blogger Unknown, at February 15, 2017 at 11:18 AM  

Ok sooo...
After reading that, I dont feel so bad about my 2:30am experience.
We write dates on containers with permanant marker AND we circle the expiration date.
That being said.
This morning I got a salty-cheese craving,I opened the fridge, and my dad (who is good for this) leaves a teeny tiny piece of hunk cheddar cheese in the fridge.
Not enough for my Ritz crackers..
Sooo, I find this can of liquid cheddar cheese.
Its half full.
Date opened on the can 4-29
(opened 2 months)
I make 6-8 cookie style double stuffed crackets with cheese, I grab a coke and head to my room and start eating them while watching a movie.
After about 4, I could start to taste the rancidness.
I go back downstairs, look at the can..
Expiration date 4-29-17 on the bottom of the can.
That means its been opened a year!
Not 2 months!
(Only good 6-8 weeks after opening)
I went through the cupboards and fridge and tossed about 10-12 items and added them to my shopping list.
All things you don't normally eat, out of sight out of mind things.
Like this canned cheese, salad dressings, A1, etc..
Needless to say Ive been drinking bottled water the last hour to dilute it.
Going forward, the date opened will include the year as well, not just the month and day..

By Blogger AJ, at June 4, 2018 at 1:51 AM  

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