7/19/07 - My tipping philosophy

I finally found the dialogue I've been looking for from Reservoir Dogs where Mr. Pink (Steve Buscemi) explains his philosophy. Although with much nicer language and less vulgarity, this is how I feel about tipping.

Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?
Mr. Pink: Nah, I don't believe in it.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?
Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make s***
Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money that she can quit.
Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a f***ng Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight - you don't ever tip?
Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I'll give them something, a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job.
Mr. Blue: Hey, our girl was nice.
Mr. Pink: She was okay. She wasn't anything special.
Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.
Mr. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've been here a long f***ing time and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times.
Mr. Blonde: Six times. Well, what if she's too f***ing busy?
Mr. Pink: The words "too f***ing busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.
Nice Guy Eddie: Excuse me, Mr. Pink, but I think the last f***ing thing you need is another cup of coffee.
Mr. Pink: I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's f**ed up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government f***s in the a** on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bulls*** I got two words for that -learn to f***ing type. 'Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big f***ing surprise.

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